Okay, so we’re on to the third Agreement of The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz. (If you missed the blogs for the past two weeks, I’m doing a blog each for the Four Agreements from the book.)
The third Agreement I think is really close to the second. The third Agreement is simply:
Don’t Make Assumptions.
And we do it all the time. The reason I feel this works so closely with the second Agreement is because as humans we first assume that we know what’s going on with someone else or in a certain situation, and then we take it personally. Hmmm. Maybe don Miguel should have switched those two in order?
When we ‘assume’ something about someone else or some other situation, we start to believe that it’s true. But is it? Isn’t an assumption something you’re making up in your head? Yes, that assumption you made may turn out to be true, but you don’t know that when you make the assumption.
So let’s think about what I said above. Someone does something or says something and we immediately make an assumption. I’ll use an example. Suppose you weren’t invited to a party. You find out about the party and immediately ‘assume’ you weren’t invited because the party throwers don’t like you for some reason. That assumption now turns in to a belief. You BELIEVE that they didn’t invite you because they don’t like you. And, of course, you now take it personally and wrack your brain trying to figure out what you did, why they don’t like you, who else at the party doesn’t like you, etc. And here’s the kicker…you go over it again, and again, and again, and again. You keep this belief that they don’t like you going strong. You keep the energy of someone not liking you and ‘why am I not likeable?’ going in your energy field. So, you’re inviting more situations where you feel ‘unliked’ or not good enough to come to you.
But here’s the thing. What if the reason you weren’t invited to the party was just because the party throwers thought you were out of town that weekend? How do you feel now about the thoughts and beliefs you felt based around an assumption that they didn’t like you so didn’t invite you? By making assumptions, not only do we waste a whole lot of time…
We make ‘asses’ of ourselves….