Don’t make an ‘Ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me’

Okay, so we’re on to the third Agreement of The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz. (If you missed the blogs for the past two weeks, I’m doing a blog each for the Four Agreements from the book.)

The third Agreement I think is really close to the second. The third Agreement is simply:

Don’t Make Assumptions.

And we do it all the time. The reason I feel this works so closely with the second Agreement is because as humans we first assume that we know what’s going on with someone else or in a certain situation, and then we take it personally. Hmmm. Maybe don Miguel should have switched those two in order?

When we ‘assume’ something about someone else or some other situation, we start to believe that it’s true. But is it? Isn’t an assumption something you’re making up in your head? Yes, that assumption you made may turn out to be true, but you don’t know that when you make the assumption.

So let’s think about what I said above. Someone does something or says something and we immediately make an assumption. I’ll use an example. Suppose you weren’t invited to a party. You find out about the party and immediately ‘assume’ you weren’t invited because the party throwers don’t like you for some reason. That assumption now turns in to a belief. You BELIEVE that they didn’t invite you because they don’t like you. And, of course, you now take it personally and wrack your brain trying to figure out what you did, why they don’t like you, who else at the party doesn’t like you, etc. And here’s the kicker…you go over it again, and again, and again, and again. You keep this belief that they don’t like you going strong. You keep the energy of someone not liking you and ‘why am I not likeable?’ going in your energy field. So, you’re inviting more situations where you feel ‘unliked’ or not good enough to come to you.

But here’s the thing. What if the reason you weren’t invited to the party was just because the party throwers thought you were out of town that weekend? How do you feel now about the thoughts and beliefs you felt based around an assumption that they didn’t like you so didn’t invite you? By making assumptions, not only do we waste a whole lot of time…

We make ‘asses’ of ourselves….

In Munay…

It’s not always about you.

After last week’s blog about the first Agreement in The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz, a dear friend of mine suggested I blog about the other three Agreements (if you didn’t read it, last week I posted my take on “Be Impeccable with Your Word”). I think it’s a great idea. So, let’s do this. The second Agreement in the book is…

Don’t Take Anything Personally.

I swear if you could just incorporate these first two agreements into your life…wow…what a change I believe you would see. So let’s break this down. As humans, we take EVERYTHING personally. A guy cuts you off in the parking lot? That’s personal. The guy in front of you driving too slow? That’s personal. Your client at work writes you a nasty email? Personal. Someone says they don’t like your new hairstyle? Oh yea, that’s personal. We take these things personally and we let them affect our lives. We suffer from them. We judge ourselves because of them. And we often become ‘un-impeccable’ with our word to them and to ourselves because of it. (See what I did there? As you can see, these Agreements are all interconnected…)

We assume that everything someone else does is because of us. But it’s not. Truth is, as don Miguel says, “What others say and do is a projection of their own reality.” Maybe that guy that cut you off had a massive fight with his spouse this morning and is feeling guilty as hell and mad because he feels guilty. So, in order to make himself feel better, he lashes out and tries to make someone else feel worse. Maybe that client who sent you the nasty email just absolutely hates his job and subconsciously (or not) needs someone else to hate his too. Maybe that chick that hates your new hairstyle really likes it and wants it but she grew up in a family that didn’t teach her how to be nice so instead she lashes out at you. The point here is, it’s not always about you, and…

That’s their S#%T…

By making it about you, you become a victim. You become trapped in a world where everyone else dictates how you feel. So what should you do? As they say on The Sopranos…Forget about it! (has more impact if you say it like Tony…) Forget about the actions and opinions of others. They’re their actions and opinions. They are manifesting their own realities and dreams. And they may not make sense to you, but they don’t have to. The only opinions and actions that you need to worry about are your own. Forget about them…

Just be you.

In Munay…

Don’t talk trash. To anyone…

In his book The Four Agreements, don Miguel Ruiz lays out four Agreements we can make with ourselves in order to start living the life we dream of. The Agreements are really quite simple…and really quite hard. The first Agreement is my favorite and, in my opinion, the one that can most easily completely change your life. It reads:

Be Impeccable with Your Word

Be impeccable with your word. Speak authentically. Speak with love. Speak with kindness. In other words, don’t talk trash. So, talking trash directly to someone is pretty obvious. Here’s an example. Someone looks at you and says, “That dress looks like crap on you.” That’s talking trash. That person is not being impeccable with their words. They are being hurtful and mean.

In the Shamanic community, we refer to this as Black Magic. By saying something mean, hurtful, or negative to someone else, we’re using Black Magic. But, those mean and hurtful things don’t need to be said directly to that person. Another example. Suppose I’m driving down the road and the guy in front of me is driving really slow and making me late so I say, in my car to myself, “For crying out loud! Move it buddy! Get the @$#%& our of my way!” There too I’m not being impeccable with my word. I’m using Black Magic against that person in front of me. And they don’t even know it! The thing is, in this energetic world that we live in, even though they don’t hear my words, if they’re in a not so good place at that moment? Those words, that Black Magic, can worm its way in to their vibration.

Now, those examples above are how we use Black Magic with others. What I don’t think most of us get is just how often we use it on ourselves. Think about it. When you wake up in the morning and look at yourself in the mirror, or step on the scale, or try on a pair of jeans, or try to fix your hair, what do you say to yourself? If I wake up every morning, look in the mirror and say, “Ugh. I look like crap! I’m old and fat!” What am I doing to myself? Yep. I’m NOT being impeccable with my words to MYSELF. I’m using Black Magic on myself.

When don Miguel Ruiz tells us to Be Impeccable with Our Words, he means ALL our words. To and about others, to and about the world around us, and to and about ourselves. Imagine the world you could create if you just…

Stopped talking trash. To anyone.

In Munay…

Multitasking. It’s overrated.

I’ve been working a lot lately on staying present. Staying in the ‘now.’ No matter what I’m doing, lately, I’m trying to only be doing that one thing. Whether I’m reading a book, studying, watching TV, having a conversation with someone, or working out, I’m trying to do just that one thing. I was talking to a colleague the other day about ‘multitasking’ and how all the technology we now use has made it pretty darn easy to multitask. Because of all this technology, I can be watching TV, checking my email, replying to a comment on social media, and filing my nails at the same time. But why should I? “To get things done quicker!” I hear you saying. But are you really? Are things really getting done any quicker? Or are you just splitting your energy all over the place and only getting the same things done in the same amount of time….but feeling flustered?

Time is a big thing with us these days. “I just don’t have the time!” “I can’t find the time!” “I’ll do it when I have time!” We’re constantly struggling to find the time. We’ve been programmed to think that in order to get it all done, we have to do multiple things at one time. But by doing so, like I said, we split our energy. Yes, we’re getting things done, but because that energy is split, it’s taking longer to get each thing done, leaving us, really, right where we started.

And here’s another thing. The Law of Attraction is all about focusing on what you’re feeling. When you feel good, you’re attracting good things, when you feel bad, you’re attracting more of the things that make you feel bad. The problem with multitasking is you have no idea how you feel when you’re doing all of the things you’re doing at the same time. Other than flustered. You definitely feel flustered. If you’re doing five things at once, how can you possibly keep track of how you feel about any of them? You’re not, you’re focusing on getting those five things done so you can go do something you really want to do.

Your challenge for this week: Stop multitasking. Write down all the things you need to get done during your day. Pick one and do it. But be totally present when you do it. Find things to appreciate about that one thing you’re doing. Give it all you’ve got. Finish it and appreciate that you did that one thing. Then pick another thing to do and give that thing all you’ve got. Trust me, it’s not going to be easy at first. You’re going to struggle getting your brain to actually focus on JUST ONE THING. But, once you get it, you’re GOING to feel a shift…you’re going to realize that

Multitasking is overrated.

In Munay…