Who’s to blame?

Emotional weekend for some, including myself. This weekend, I found myself saddened, confused, angered, and stunned by the words and actions of others.

Let me say a portion of that again. ‘This weekend I was stunned BY the words and actions of others.’ Now I’ll say it in a different way: ‘This weekend I was stunned BECAUSE of the words and actions of others.’ It’s a slight difference, but there is a difference. So, which sentence is correct?

It’s the first one. Here’s why. You cannot blame someone else for the way you feel. So, if I say, ‘I was stunned BY the words and actions of others,’ I’m explaining how I felt after hearing those words and seeing those actions. I’m taking responsibility for those feelings, for my feelings. If I say, ‘I was stunned BECAUSE of the words and actions of others,’ I’m saying that they caused me to feel this way. I’m making them responsible for how I feel. I’m blaming them. And I’m usually demanding that they do something about it. I’m demanding that they change so I can feel better. But the truth is…

You’re to blame for how you feel and you’re responsible for making yourself feel better.

It is your perception of what someone else says or does or doesn’t say or doesn’t do that causes any emotion within you. You have control over that emotion. How you feel about something isn’t anyone else’s fault but your own. And it’s not their job to fix it. Now, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have an emotional reaction to something that you feel is wrong, or mean, or unjust. I did all weekend! What I am saying is you get to choose how you feel about it and you get to choose what you do about it. If you don’t like something, take responsibility and figure out how to change it!

So, here’s my question for you. If you’re feeling bad about something that’s going on around you, are you going to blame someone else, fight against, and demand they change so you feel better? Or, are you going to…

Reach for a better feeling thought yourself and make your own change.

It really is your choice.

In Munay…