This may cause some discomfort. This may elicit some comments, but I’m going to say it anyway.
Stop putting everyone else before you.
When my husband and I got married, a friend gave me some advice. He said, ‘Always put your marriage before your kids.’ (Since I wasn’t having kids, that didn’t appall me as you might expect it to…) And I wondered, well, if that’s the case, shouldn’t you take it a step back and put yourself before your spouse? And, as it turns out, yes, you should.
Now everyone calm down. I realize that that statement sounds completely selfish. And I guess it is to a certain extent. But I’m not talking about being selfish and always taking the last piece of pizza from the box, or always throwing your clothes on the floor expecting your spouse to pick them up. What I’m talking about is taking the time you need to become your best self. Think about it. How can you best serve those around you? My answer is, by being the best that I can be. If I’m my very best, than I can’t give less to those around me.
I recently had a conversation with a friend who was being sucked back in to a caregiver role. Been there, done that, I said. In my case what I found when being that caregiver was that while doing so, I started to completely lose myself. After awhile I realized it and ever so slowly started taking just a bit more time for me. What I found when I did was that the balance started shifting. Once it did, I was actually a better caregiver. And…this is big…that better caregiving allowed the person I was taking care of to grow himself and take his own power back. So here’s my challenge to you….
Stop putting everyone else before you….and watch them thrive.
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